I gaze out on the open sky. Incomprehensible tears fall

You visit the psychiatrist's office, the psychiatrist looks at you suspiciously as it was confidential information you wanted the psychiatrist to tell. You are getting irritated by patient confidentiality crap. You were pissed, and in you frustration, you drop the holographic journal of the missing author whom you were tasked to track. The psychiatrist' eyes widen in shock and almost immediately, the psychiatrist produces a box full of PAGEs(Programmable Anamnesis Genetic Encoder), to the holographic journal. All of it were sessions with the psychiatrist, which the psychiatrist described as a paitent who was deeply stressed by something and was obsessed with the psychiatrist taking care of the PAGEs until sometime back when the author stopped showing up and the psychiatirst was asked to release these to anyone who held the holographic journal. Immensely disturbed, you decide to see another entry.

16 April

Today, I was with a group, we were speaking. I feel alien. I have nothing to wish for, while I heard wishes of change among my circle of people.

First of all, in my church's cell group, upheavals were happening in the group member's lives. I won't name them. One had tension within the family, the other had a ill family member, the another one worries over insecure finances. My heart goes out to them, and they would be in my prayers. But I felt as though the protection I was given would falter along with my optimism and this is unfair. I feel that injustice of such a thing would tear my hair out. Why them? I will not stand for suffering.

Then, my brother talk about a queer guy with temper tantrums, upsetting the mood of the class. then I see the parallel in my own class. I feel for the guy man; nobody likes you for what you are comfortable with, pity from people especially serves to inflame you and tear up your pride. Demons from your own past haunts you, you fight them, make sure they never get back the chance to return. the boy turns 'monster' to protect himself.

It was a little bit like what I went through, but people have different demons, different assholes who waved a red cloth so that you would charge, then you charge any idiot who happens to bleed in a finger. Still, that is no excuse for behaving in a vengeful manner. You do that, you are forgiveable for why you act like that, but never forgiveable for the acts you did. It takes a beast to be vicious from bad experience but a man to be compassionate from bad experiences.

These are sad things, the more people try to rush in with solutions, the more they see as the situation spiral out of control. Even the wisest of people in the world can do nothing for it. that probably explains why this world is as screwed as it is. I hope, people can solve it before some idiot out there make nuclear weapons just like guns in a war.

I challenge the young generation now, think about a particularly dislikable person.

Would you in your own group, band like conspirators to make life hell for that guy or to mock that guy and all those who are with him? Or would you just ignore it? Or perhaps impose a demilitarised zone, till time passes long enough.

I don't know, we stand in a world that now is growing smaller, Boyle's law probably hold true, lower the volume of gas, higner the pressure. Humans may be pack animals, but harmony is hard to find nowadays, with people who keep insulting each other's race, religion and moms; uncrossable lines at best. If I cry, I won't know what to cry for. I cry out, God save us.